AGT Vegas Week Gets Off to a Nasty Start

The chosen Vegas few arrived in sin city, and they were quickly confronted with the un-pleasantries of this already exhausting competition. Before the hopefuls could begin to form new friendships with one another, the “All About Business” AGT judges summoned the prospects to the Palazzo hotel and casino. They all received the astonishing news: some unfortunates would see Vegas, but Vegas wouldn’t be seeing them perform any time soon, since they will be sent home.

The remaining acts were split off into the “Slow No, Sit Down” stand-by group, while the contestants in the judge’s favorite group were allowed to bare their souls once again. At stake is the live decision-America New York showcase in which 40-something lucky Vegas tryouts will move on to compete.

Balladeer and shoo-in All-You-Can-Eat spokesperson “Charlie C” got the boot. After receiving their own rejection notices, the un-sensational tween pop band “Ivy Rose” likely followed Charlie straight to the “$3.99 Buffet-N-Play” Vegas special up the strip. Yet, AGT bestowed its mercy upon a melodious string flicker, a dog-handling duo, and a human cannonball, launching them all straight to the live New York show!

With administrative chores out of the way, the AGT Vegas week tensions heightened, and many contestants cracked under the pressure, starting with the danger category. “All Wheel Sports” BMX-ers committed the ultimate “digger” when its 40-year-old “You-have-no-business-flipping-on-anything-with-that-donut-gut” stuntman crashed into the ramp trying to ride with his head rather than his bike, wrecking his BMX’s frame.

The female singers performed as if they’d all imbibed from the same “crack under pressure” trough. America’s instant sweetheart Mary “Flo Jo’s Baby” Joyner hit the sourest of notes, while “Hold the Mayo” Luna, the deli assistant from the St. Louis auditions, failed to serve up the good stuff.

The dancers fared slightly better. “Funk Beyond Control” was the group with the jungle painted faces and animal print onesys, frolicking to Missy Elliott’s base-throbbing “Get Your Freak On.” The dance crew of 12 to 16-year-olds would win the “Lion King on Broadway, on Crack” award any day.

Puerto Rican dance sensation “787” from the Tampa auditions performed to precision, except for one misstep which caused one of its members to pop and flop, but not in a good way. Howie unsheathed his schmuck-detecting finger before the blundering punkster, shouting: “…that was a mistake, wasn’t it!” The boo-boo maker’s pride was hurt more than the back he plummeted on. Despite it all, Howard insisted that “787” was an act that AGT needed.

One contestant summed up the novelty act category saying, “I’m not sure I want to lose a million dollars to guys that get kicked in the nuts.” Horse was the act in question, and his pain-defying nuts were his novelty.

The 25-year-old dude from Pennsylvania gave a surprise cohesive, although makeshift, performance. Sporting a “They Call me Nasty” T-shirt, Horse braced his nuts for and graciously received: a bowling ball, a man on a bike, a converse kick introduced by a burst of flames, then another converse kick—all before Horse culminated the gut-wrenching routine with an incongruous back flip.

Last to bat were classical male singers Luiz Meneghin and make-up artist Andrew de Leon, the obvious top contenders in the category. Both singers were duped by their own performance anxieties, belting out the dreadful frequencies that may have sealed their fates.

Next week, the remaining contestants continue their quest for AGT stardom.

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