America Has Voted – First AGT NYC Fates Decided

The first 12 America’s Got Talent performers, who kicked off the New York leg of the competition, have waited a grueling 24 hours, and their million dollar fates have been revealed. Host Nick Gannon showed that he appreciated the seriousness of the occasion by sporting a Boo Boo the fool fashion eyesore: pimp purple velvet jacket, pink and blue candy cane tie, and a fake orange and yellow lapel flower.

The first batch to learn their fates included Michael Nejad with his junkyard music contraptions. Nejad uncharacteristically used his mouth horn to sound off on Howard, telling him to “Go to hell” after Mr. Stern played Nejad a cacophonous AGT buzz during his live and lousy performance last night.

Shanice and Maurice Hayes were chosen to advance to the next round, trouncing Nejad and Nikki Jensen for the AGT win. Howard was still sore over Nikki’s poor decision to switch her act, telling her “Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas; your act stayed in Vegas.”

In a brief but strangely personal moment on the AGT stage, Howard trivially mocked Nick’s 5th grade subject-verb agreement skills. Nick staunchly denied ever having said, “America have voted.” Luckily, the following Cirque du Soleil Tarzana act reminded the two egoists that there was a live show going on. The elegant acrobats were amazing!

The Scott Brothers won the next elimination round, beating Lil Starr and the Puerto Rican flag-waving 787 dance crew. Howard showed his age when he suggested that for their next performance, the pop-to-precision Scott Brothers try a typewriter machine bit, à la Jerry Lewis.

But Nick didn’t skip a beat when he quickly summoned to the stage the next three AGT-ers up for elimination. After giving a soggy magic performance last night, boo-makers Jarrett and Raja confessed that they’d never been booed before. Howie believed the act was washed up but didn’t deserve the crowd’s boo-tiful response.

It was David Garibaldi and his CMYKs that defeated them and The BMX Crew with their awe-inspiring Mick Jagger creation from last night. Howard was so enthralled by the act that he believes these creative geniuses could paint the town green with a one million dollar AGT win in the end.

The crowd was then subjected to an anti-climactic performance. Wil sat at a white grand piano with his immobile hands to its keys. Did this clown not know that there were cameras everywhere and that quick edits are not synonymous with live shows?
When it was finally over, the three judges gave Wil an obligatory standing ovation.

Fourteen-year-old singing sweetie Edon was given the triple pass to the next round, beating Todd Oliver and The Distinguished Men of “Booty-shaking” Brass aka “D-Mo Booty Brass.”

Next week, AGT presses the rewind button, and 12 more acts will duel it out for America’s favor.

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